Good points.T-Rex wrote:So, you've never, not once; made a wishlist, told someone what you wanted, made a wedding registry, bought items from a registry/wish list or got a gift that someone specifically asked for? You've never been invited to a dinner party and been asked to bring a pie or bottle of wine? I find that hard to believe.Maser wrote:I've always felt it was tacky when parents include on birthday invitations what gifts to give their kids, but then again that's just me.
Lists and registries are helpful suggestions, not demands. I think that it's THOUGHTFUL to include them. Just not cash denominations.
I frequently got checks or Savings bonds for Bday and Xmas. (X is greek symbol for Christ.)
I cashed in a boatload of series EE and HH for a fraction of the downpayment on my 1st house.
I also don't mind being asked to bring a dish when invited to dinner, as long as the request is issued at time of invite rather than last minute or highly specific. (ex: 1983 bottle of ABC wine.)
I frequently got toys at Christmas that that I'd never play w. I always returned what I could and donated the rest. Some were such that noone wanted the donation, so they were either trashed or regifted. (Often to the family who gave them to me.)
But I grew to hate Xmas. Just a commercial holiday created by Macy's and nearly devoid of its symbolic meaning. It was a time that created great stress for my parents and kept them from spending time w me. So many demands and expectations that it was impossible to enjoy the holiday.
Nowdays families go deeper into debt buying presents that they spend the next yr paying off.
Far better to bake something as a gift.
To this day I won't give or accept Christmas gifts. I tell people to donate them to a fosterhome or youth center. Those kids need stuff far more than I do.
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My idea to OP: For THEIR kids' bday, send a note saying that you donated $ to a hospital or charity. My adult stepsister used to do that and as a result many of us returned the favor. The worst part was that they were crap charities that the recepient would NEVER have given to. We all thought, "At least let me choose my own charity. What do I care about spotted tree lemars? Give to St Jude's, Shriner's Burn Hospital, a Cancer Research, etc."